So I don't know if "quarter-life crisis" is a recognized phenomenon, but if it is, I definitely am experiencing it. I turned 23 two days ago and am really struggling. I guess I never thought I'd be teaching English in China right now. Don't get me wrong, I love it! But I do feel that my life is in a bit of a holding pattern. I'm not exactly moving forward.
My next big goal is to get a PhD in linguistics. And living and teaching in China is definitely helpful for that. I'm learning Chinese and all... But a lot of me is afraid that I won't get into a program when I want to. If I want to go to school next year than I need to apply now. Do I want to go to school next year? Or do I want to wait another year? If I want to go in two years I need to apply next year. But what if I don't get in on the first try? Then I should apply now so that I can have another shot in two years... It's confusing, isn't it? This is what my mind has been like for the past couple of days. It's a little disorienting.
Life is nice when you have a plan. But life also makes it hard to plan. I can take all the "right steps" and still not get what I'm aiming for. The inherent unpredictability is hard to deal with, you know?
Anyway, China is good, teaching is good, but my inner dialogue is going a little crazy.
Oh, and I'm dog-sitting Joni's [crazy] dog SonSun tonight. She's stuck in Guiyang and I now have the little creature running around my apartment.
So, yeah... That's my life right now. :)
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1 comment:
I definitely think its a recognized crisis- after all John Mayer sings about it! HEHE Anyway, at least you are thinking everything out as well as you are. SO many folks just jump without thinking! Keep up the good work, you have done more by 23 than many do in a lifetime!
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